Those who danced were thought insane by those who could not hear the music.

By Me, when I was about 13 years old.

The mind is power.
He who takes advantage of that
can convince himself of anything.
he can imagine himself flying
and he,
well, he would feel the wind in his hair.
in his mind
... he IS flying.

someone who doesn't understand
who knows... because don't we all know?...
that it is impossible to fly
would call that man crazy.

Yet,
I might call that man genius.
The mind is power.
And he who takes advantage of that
is called crazy
(hardly seems fair, does it)

Had I one wish. I wish to fly.
... and not be called crazy.

foolish questions.

It seems i might need a new style of thinking. This one's getting worn down and faded.
My gift is my desire to know. Only sometimes, questions and answers and stray thoughts get all mixed up in my head and it feels hopeless to sort them out and place them in their precise spot in line. I ask questions that you might think
I should already know by now.
Maybe I should.
But I don't.

Then my curiosity, my first and simpliest reaction, seems more like a penalty. I am not satisfied with my opinions and i am hardly content with my knowledge.

My "gift" is no more than a willing confession of ignorance.

To whom it may concern.

I think everyone needs to visit their garden of peace more often.
I understand rage, I suppose. I see it following some people around like dark angry clouds. Any minute the thunder can crack and it will all come raining down like tears.
It gets the best of all of us at one point or anther, right?
Every now and again we all dip our paintbrushes in black paint and color our lifes a darker shade of black. We can always find a reason to get angry.
But is it ever a good one?
Eventually the black fades and the color starts to shine through.
And we realize how small our problems really are.

And that we've only burned oursleves when we lash out with hot words.

Next time you can start seeing the black embroider your life, please, take a walk with me.
We'll walk through the garden of peace together.
I'll pick a flower just for you.

This type of thinking could do us in.

There are two kinds of people in this world, I think. People who know, and people who just don't. I am most definitely a long time member of the "people who don't know" club.

If someone went through my trash they would find crumpled up pages of doubt and left over hesitance. Please, don't minsinterpret me. I don't mean that I don't understand things. I only mean to convey to you my uncertainty.

Yet, If someone offered me saucer full of answers I'm not very sure I would accept. 'Why?' inquiring minds might ask. Well. Why the hell would I?

Please, allow me to explain.



Faith, for instance. Is there a God? I don't claim to have the answers, and it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. If suddenly it was known that the Mormon religion was true, or Catholic, or any religion, my life wouldn't change. I'm just doing the best I can, here.

Shall I go get my "People who don't know" club membership jacket now?

Ignorance can be bliss. Without uncertainty the drama of human life is destroyed!

and sometimes.

Having all the answers

(or THINKING you have all the answers)

doesn't get you very far at all.

Brick by Brick

So, I asked Scott what I should write about and he said I should write about love. I don't think I have ever ventured down this road before, writing about love seems so tacky to me! :P
But this is a bit different type of writing than I'm used to so I might as well give a different topic a try too.

Things in my life are transitioning.
tangling up and straightening out.
And I'm building a life for myself brick by brick. People say this is the most exciting time of my life. Maybe so. There's no dead end and my mind is swimming with little fishies of possibilities.


I'm getting married, and I'll never have to walk alone. I love Scott.
I'm gaining a family. I've always wanted a sister, and I'm acquiring five. Oh yeah.. and four more brothers. :)
I love Linda and Steven for everything they have done for me and Scott. I've never met two people with so much love in their hearts.


With these changes, I'm trying to find my place in the world.. how on earth could I ever do that without my best friend, Mom, who inhales questions and exhales answers.
And Dad.. Two peas in a pod, we are. I find that some times when you really want something from someone you've got to meet them half way. At the bottom of his heart I'll always find love.

It's such an important thing in life to know how to give love, and to learn how to give love freely.

But its twice as important to know how to let love in.

penny for your thoughts.

I'm wondering; If I could go back in time would I still be sitting here where I am now?

I'd like to think that they would. I wonder if anyone could go back in time if they'd be where they are now, for that matter. Maybe it's a pointless question. Everyone has regrets.

People say that things happen for a reason, don't they? That trials only make you stronger, and build character and you learn from your mistakes. However I think "If only" might possibly be the two saddest words on the planet. I can't say I have had a great many of trials in my life, not counting the ones I have brought entirely upon myself :)

But still...

there is no such thing is a life without regrets... wishing you had said something, wishing you HADN'T said something, wishing you had heard someone asking for help, wishing you had turned left instead of right.

I don't particularly feel regretful right now, I enjoy writing about emotions. But I suppose if there is any point to this at all

It's that every single day we make a thousand choices, and that no one can make the right ones every time.

I could sit for hours think over my life and every mistake I've made.

Is there any use beating myself up over it?

all I'm doing is hanging myself with my own noose.