miracle.

you know how you think it'll never happen to you.

one tiny mistake made by either them or you.
and tick tick tick.
the last few seconds of your life count down.
that's what walking this thin line means, that's what living this life means.
and they say, "is it really worth it?" and i say, "is that really relevant?"
when the worth of my life is counted up in fifteen dollar increments... its hard to remember whats worth what, in the real world.
there's no way for me to say it, when why would you believe a word of it, anyway.
there's nothing left i can say.
one person tells me they love me. they don't think anything less of me, they know i'm better than this. and another tells me they just don't think it's going to be enough. and if i pull through it'll be a miracle. everything anyone says hurts.
they land on my shoulders and and it's just another weight to carry.
everyone's just waiting. and watching. counting on the second when it's all just too heavy.
and tick tick tick
the last few seconds of my life count down.
and nothing hurts worse than that.
my hearts never felt so broken.

there's no way to show you how i feel
there's just
no way
i can make you understand. that i feel it, where i've never felt it before.
just wait. and watch.
but there's nothing else
for me to say.
you'd never believe a word of it, anyway.